SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2021 - SATURDAY STORY

 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2021 - SATURDAY STORY

I really had a story yesterday (for LOVE WINS Friday) - with Roger helping John when he broke his leg and giving him a friend through the Stephen Ministry program.  But, we do need a love story today, don’t we?

*****

Erik was a slow social learner, although a strong academic learner.  Let’s face it, he was a nerd. He liked computers, he liked math, he liked physics. But, in high school, he hadn’t dated at all. 

His only social event in high school was the Senior Prom.

At lunch in the cafeteria, Rachel just seemed to be behind Erik most days in the lunch line and if there was space at the table, she would sit next to him.   She asked him about some of their math problems from this advanced math/precalculus class.  (Erik wasn’t quite why the smartest girl in the class was asking him about some trigonometry identity questions).  Rachel was in the flute section and Erik in the baritone section in the band, but it seemed like Rachel was always there to say “Hi Erik”.  Rachel was cute - kind of - in a shy nerd way as well.

(Girls - some guys just don’t have a clue - so we have to be more obvious).  

Erik didn’t even realize that somehow Rachel’s hair was nicer, that she had a little lipstick on, and a little eye shadow, and maybe, just maybe, a little fresh and nice scent (was that perfume?)  It seemed that she just showed up when she ‘ran’ into him in the cafeteria or in math class or in-band rehearsal.  (Of course, she didn’t just “run” into him - we women do plan these things out!!!).  

The pep band played for all the home basketball games, and Erik - as the tallest senior boy in the band, was the student conductor.  And, he didn’t notice that Rachel was always in the front row when the pep band played - and always with a big smile.  And, for a shy girl, she sometimes had suggestions for pieces to play at half-time and timeouts -like “Hey Baby”.  (Erik didn’t know that she was flirting with him!!)

After pep band season one day at lunch Rachel was looking at the student newspaper and pointed out to Erik - “Gee the prom is two months away”.  Erik nodded and said “I guess so”.  (He was just so dense).  

They talked about their future plans.  Rachel was going to the big state university to be pre-med and then to be a doctor.  She asked Erik about his plans.  “Uh - I’m going to Dakota State and major in cyber-security.”.  She responded “Isn’t that so exciting”, and Erik just blushed and smiled.  It was hard to get much of a conversation going with Erik.  Rachel would talk about the music they were playing in the band like “Do you have a tough part of that Festive Overture by Shostakovich music?”  She tried to think of things to get him to talk.

And, amazingly as it might seem, in the evenings Erik sometimes thought of Rachel.  When he was doing his advanced math homework, he wondered if Rachel got all the answers right (which she almost always did - although he was generally correct too).  And, slowly, the thought of graduating and senior prom popped into his brain.  He didn’t really know what prom was.  He hadn’t danced since junior high school and the junior high dances (with the guys all on one side and the girls on the other side - dancing with each other).  He didn’t know much about dancing other than the little bit of dancing that the junior high gym teacher had them do.  

*****

But, even as Erik thought about Rachel and prom, Rachel was ready for action.  The next Monday at lunch, Rachel asked: “Erik let’s go to prom together”.  (She thought that was a little lower key than saying “Erik, take me to the prom”).

*****

They did go to the prom.  Rachel tried to get Erik on the dance floor. (C’mon Erik, this is YOUR prom).   They went to the after-prom party put on by the parents - games, food, and prizes.   After the prom they did a few things together over the summer before they headed out to college - a couple of movies, a night playing mini-golf, a picnic with Rachel’s family, and going to the Fourth of July fireworks. Rachel kept waiting for Erik to kiss her.  It did finally happen the last time they were together before Rachel went to the University of South Dakota for Orientation Week.  They had watched a women’s softball game (Rachel’s older sister played), and then stopped for an ice cream treat before Erik dropped Rachel off at her house.  It was like he was going to kiss her - but wasn’t sure - or didn’t know how.  Not that Rachel was all that experienced, but she leaned into him and closed her eyes and her lips touched hers.  (Erik actually thought it was pretty nice!!!) 

They went off to college.  Erik went to Dakota State and loved the computing and security classes.  He had a few double dates in college, but never was very romantic. After college, he worked for TMS in Omaha for three years (and saved his money) and then went back to Dakota State for a Master's and a Doctorate in Cyber-Security.  TMS hired him back - and he quickly became a valued resource.

Rachel went to the University of South Dakota and excelled in her pre-med studies.  She was accepted at the University of Nebraska Medical School in Omaha (not knowing Erik was in Omaha).

Rachel had some boyfriends, but nothing seemed to fit with her and her crazy medical school life.  Maybe she scared them off since she was so smart, maybe there was just something about her that was hard to take.  At one point, she thought one of the girls in her classes was cute, but later she saw that girl holding hands with another girl.  A passing thought was “that’s cute”, followed by “ugh - two girls together”.

After graduating from Medical School, Rachel took a position with the University of Nebraska Medical Center in cardiology.

*****

But, something was happening to Erik.  He liked girls - but it seemed different. He was questioning his masculinity.  He wondered if maybe he could be transgender.  He researched some questions on the Internet.  

One afternoon, he visited his human resources specialist, Stacey.

Stacey was a great human resources person.  She listened, she cared, and she knew how much Erik did for TMS.  He was a ‘good guy’ and an asset to the company. 

It was hard for Erik to even approach Stacey.  He had pleasant interactions with her in the past - but could he actually say ‘I’m not sure about my gender”, to Stacey?  Would she laugh?  He was pretty sure it would be a secret for Stacey - she just wasn’t a blabbermouth.  

Erik had a half-hour appointment with Stacey.  

She greeted him warmly, made some small talk about the good things she was hearing about Erik’s work.  She heard about his working all weekend when there was a particularly troublesome trojan in the system- and he got it out - and really saved the company a lot of money (she had heard one boss say that Erik saved the company about $5 million with that situation).

She also had noticed that Erik was very quiet - he didn’t seem to have an enemy in TMIS, but that he was single and, she guessed, maybe a little lonely.

It took some gentle coaxing by Stacey to get Erik to say “I don’t know how to say this, but, “ (and then a long pause), “I’m not sure about my gender.”.  Stacey thought Erik turned a little red as he said this.

Stacey was so loving in this situation.  First, she assured Erik that he was safe with her, then she mentioned the open relationships she knew of - Mike in accounting was gay; Lucinda in user interface design that was bisexual (and bragged of it).  She had a sign on her door that said “I’m an LGBTQ+ Ally”.  

She was prompt in saying “Erik, there are a few others in the company that have shared privately with me - maybe about divorce or having affairs or their sexual and gender orientation. Why do you think you aren’t sure about your gender”.

This opened a long - and at times - difficult discussion for Erik.  For a person with a doctorate in cyber-security and numerous academic and professional papers in the field, talking about his gender and sexual orientation was a million times more difficult than talking about  ‘honey pots’ that caught hackers on their systems. 

Eventually, Stacey recommended Emily Pieper.  She commented “I’ve known Emily for a couple of years and she won’t talk you into transitioning or not - she guides - not pushes - and she will really try to get to know you and understand you.

 *****

Erik set up an appointment with Emily Pieper.  They had a very nice two-hour introductory session.  They talked about his background - had he ever thought about being a woman before, were there other clues.  Erik had a few memories of growing up and dressing like a girl because his older sister dressed him that way for tea parties.  

Emily asked him a series of questions about his thoughts, likes, desires, and even sexual fantasies.  Erik tried to answer her questions honestly.  He mentioned that he had some girlfriends (not very many) in the past (he was thinking of Rachel).  He was very sure he was not interested in dating men.  

And, Erik mentioned that on rare occasions he had worn some women's clothes.  It was easy to go into a thrift shop and buy some things (including a few dresses and skirts) as if he was buying it for a girlfriend or wife.  

Based on his answers, Emily carefully checked on some more specifics.  At the end of the session, she smiled at him and gave him a homework assignment.  Could remember specific times he thought he would like to be a girl or woman, specific thoughts about being asexual, specific thoughts about dating men and women, and more.  

*****

In two weeks, Erik was back with Emily Pieper for their second session.  AND ... Erik was wearing a dress - a pretty long sleeve red dress and with a pair of boots, and a blonde wig (he was a natural blonde), and lipstick.  And, the biggest smile Erik had ever had!!!

Emily was a little surprised.  "Welcome Erik,  It seems like you have been thinking your gender over."

Erik blushed and said "yes". (But, that smile was still on his (or was it ‘her’) face) 

He went on "After our session two weeks ago, on the way home, I stopped at Goodwill and got two dresses (this is one of them), and some other things.  In the evening at home and on weekends, I've been wearing them and feeling (um) divine." He paused a minute.  I got this wig and last Sunday went to Lincoln and went to a church that was labeled as "accepting".  There were transgender women, gays, lesbians, and others.  I liked seeing women holding hands during the service.  The pastor was a woman, and I think she was probably a lesbian.  It was a friendly place."

They talked for a while about Erik's clothes, orientation, and future plans.  

"Emily", Eric started, "At this stage, I'm very comfortable with thinking about being a female.  I don't want to jump into it, but I'd like to explore this further."

Emily had some suggestions.  There was a PFLAG group that might be helpful, there was a transgender group that might be helpful, there were all kinds of resources on the web.

Erik smiled - he had found several such web groups (after all, he was a computer nerd).  He had taken the name Erika and was lurking on the edge of some discussions.  

Emily didn't want to push Erik (or Erika) but did suggest a former patient of hers - Jennifer Longstreet.  (In the back of her mind, she was planning on asking Jennifer to take Erika under her wing - maybe go shopping with Erika - and be a friend.  Jennifer was an older woman who had transitioned about twelve years early - and loved being a woman.  

She also made two mental notes - to call Jennifer Longstreet to see if she would be willing to help out, and she would not officially diagnose Erik/Erika as transgender.  

***** 

Jennifer Longstreet was amazing for Erika.  Erik/Erika made good money as a cyber-security expert (and he/she was good) - so Erika could buy some nice things.  Jennifer helped her pick out some nice things.  Coming from a male background, he was a taller person so they shopped for longer dresses, skirts, and pants.  Likewise, some petite tops were just too short and they searched the racks for longer tops.  

One Saturday afternoon, Jennifer took a couple of hours working with make-up for Erika.  Then they went out to dinner at one of Jennifer's favorite restaurants.  Yes, two tall women walked in together - but no heads really changed, the service was good, the greeter said "Welcome ladies".  It went smoothly.  

And, the next day, Jennifer took Erika to church with her in Omaha.  It actually was the same denomination where Erik grew up.  Erik/Erika felt at home, and she and Jennifer did lunch together.

*****

Two months later, Emily did officially diagnose Erik/Erika as having gender dysphoria.  With that diagnosis, he/she went to his primary care physician who was able to prescribe estrogen and blockers for testosterone.  

Erik/Erika had kept his human resources person (Stacey) informed and worked with his/her supervisors to come out.  The note had gone out over the weekend to the computing staff, that Erik was now Erika.  Some people, seeing the note, send notes of support to Erika.  On Monday morning, there was a "Welcome Erika" sign in the department office and donuts and coffee for the staff.  

*****

Erika's transition went smoothly.  Sure there was some gender dysphoria, but he had a lot of support from her colleagues, friends, Jennifer, Emily, and Stacey.  And, that smile that was so rare in Erik’s life was now a fixture in Erika’s life!

*****

It was a chance occurrence in the grocery store during her transition.  As Erika rounded a corner, he almost ran over Rachel -his old friend from high school.  Rachel didn't recognize him, but Erika recognized her.  After talking for a few minutes (where they found both of them had a lot to talk about), they agreed to go for dinner the following Friday night.  It was a delightful night for both of them.  Rachel talked about her work in cardiology, and Erika talked about her work in cybersecurity.  They really hit it off.  As they were leaving the restaurant, somehow fate intervened and they kissed passionately outside the door.  Later Rachel would say her heart fluttered, and Erika said she was aglow in the kiss.

*****

In March the next spring, Erika had surgery that changed her male organ into a female organ.  And, waiting to greet her as she emerged from surgery was Dr. Rachel Wasmer.  Erika was in a daze but did respond with joy when Rachel kissed him.  They both found something they had been looking for - but didn’t expect!!  For high school nerds - and friends - life was indeed, very good.

*************************

Okay - a different sort of Saturday story.  

In my past three years, I have learned more about myself.  I'm not denying my previous self.  I loved and enjoyed that life.  Now, in my retirement, I'm loving and enjoying a different life. My comfort zone has increased, my life (and my body) has changed.  

From Romans 12:2 “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.” 

For sure, I have not been conformed to this world, and I have been transformed.  I hope my mind is renewed. 

This is not for everybody.  There have been difficult moments, and moments of great joy, and deep peace!!!  I have found God’s deep and abiding peace in this (strange as that may seem to me yet).

Yes, LOVE WINS - and for me, the Love of an infinite and totally amazing God has won me over!!!

Karen - Valentine’s Day 2021