THURSDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2021 MY CHRISTMAS LIST IV

 THURSDAY, DECEMBER 23, 2021 - MY CHRISTMAS WISH LIST -PART IV

This week I’ve been giving my Christmas wish list.  I really don’t “need” anything (and if I did, I have the resources to buy it).

Monday was “Honor your Father and Mother, honor your elders”.  I see seniors in my part-time job at an Independent Living facility that have little contact with children.

Tuesday was “Do not hate” - (Exodus 20:13: “You shall not murder.”).  I say “Love Wins”.

Wednesday was “Do not covet” - be happy with what you have.

Today, my wish list is much bigger - be at peace with the world, be reconciled with family, friends, and neighbors.  And, be at peace with yourself.  

This is really about acceptance, mental illness, and loving winning.

*****

It seems like more people are hurting - because of family troubles.  I spoke with a friend last week who said her son is a very smart and capable grown man, but he is a pothead and doesn’t do much except smoke marijuana and can’t hold a job.  I’ve mentioned a friend who was estranged from her sister for 20 years.  Another friend has tried to make up with her son, but nothing doing.  My friend MN had a son that was very depressed and he committed suicide some years ago and that still haunts her.  BB has five sisters, but one became a Muslim and the others are shunning her.  

I know transgender women who have been kicked out of their families, haven’t seen their children in years (myself included).  Recently, MT’s son graduated from college, and her ex-wife said she could only attend the graduation if she was dressed as a man. (She has been a woman for some six years - and doesn’t have any male clothes).  

Other families are split by politics, by religion, by education, by status.  

*****

Those who read these blogs know I suggest saying “I’m sorry”; or “I’m sorry I hurt you” or “Please forgive me”.  While the Bible talks about the “unforgivable sin”, trying to reconcile with family or friends is a good thing.  Saying “I’m sorry” (and, implied, that you really are sorry) and making harmony again is good.  

*****

Acceptance first.  

First, self-acceptance.  

No human is perfect.  We all have flaws.  We all have done stupid things in the past and sometimes ever stupid things in the present!!

It can be hard to accept yourself.  Sometimes parents get in the way.  A student quite a while back was told he was going into business by his father.  He didn’t want to go into business - got bad grades and was kicked out of college.  He had a motorcycle accident and learned he really wanted to be a nurse.  Another had a father that wanted her to be an accountant, but she liked marketing and was good at it.  

In the past, you went into the profession that your father was in (and women became housewives, mothers).  Likewise, you married the person your parents picked out (in conjunction with the other set of parents - the ‘arranged marriage’).  (And, maybe that didn’t affect your self-acceptance much - it was what it was).

Take time to honor yourself.  “You’ve come a long way, Baby”!!!  

Put the bad things behind you.  There have been lots of people who have overcome impossible odds to succeed.  You can’t say “Oh woe is me - I didn’t have a good upbringing, I didn’t go to the ‘right’ school, I didn’t marry the right person, God gave us all the ability to change, to rise above your heritage, your education, your background.  

“Love your neighbor as yourself” implies that you have to love yourself first.  YOU ARE A WINNER - you are made in the image and likeness of God.  Accept yourself and move on

Forgive your past - it is gone; learn to grow and love now.

*****

My wish list is for mental stability and forgiveness for ourselves.  I think all of us have some ability to get depressed - change our focus!!  

Saying ‘I love myself”, “I accept myself”, are good first steps.  Our minds are very flexible - we get to choose who we are, what we believe, where we are going.  But we are also open to ‘foreign’ ideas.  I was reminded of the seven deadly sins the other day - Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride.  They still exist and still can limit and weaken us.  (More on those next week as I do a year-end wrap-up.)

I’ve seen power corrupt people, I’ve seen good triumph, and I’ve seen evil triumph. I get to choose my path - (looking around my living room as I write, I think Sloth is trying to take over - ouch!!).

LOVE WINS - but our mental stability, our ability to let love win, has to come from deep inside.  It has to mean something to us.  

Choose to love yourself as a basis for loving your neighbor and for finding happiness!!!

Merry Christmas friends!!!

Karen