FRIDAY, AUGUST 2, 2024 DEATH

 FRIDAY, AUGUST 2ND, 2024 DEATH

I am dying.

But, really, you are dying too!!!  Death can come instantly - like a massive heart attach, or a bullet through my brain, or a major car accident; or it can linger - like cancer.  

If I had to choose, I’d go with the instant death.  My friend who died recently had cancer that run through her body - in a long painful death.  Yes, she was on hospice so they were able to mitigate the pain.  

In three weeks I’ll turn 77 years old.  I don’t know if that is good or bad.   I want to be of value to society.

*****

I visit with TL at a nursing home.  This past three weeks, I’ve been there six evenings a week for about two hours.  She had a stroke some time back that affected the speech area in her brain.  About three months ago, after a couple of major falls, her family put her on hospice care.  That says keep her pain-free but don’t do surgeries or resuscitation.

It used to be that we’d play checkers or do crafts, but that had gone away.  We also used to go to the rehab part of the nursing home and do some simple leg and arm exercises.  She used to walk with a walker, but now, she only walks two steps from the bed to her wheelchair.  She used to feed herself, but now I feed her (six evenings a week).  [I have no idea who feeds her for breakfast or lunch].  

You might think that what I do could be more useful.  I get no feedback from her (other than a smile some days).  I am easing the lot on other regular staff who would have to feed her (as well as others).  

But, as I have been with her almost three years, I’ve gotten to love this woman.  I wasn’t around when my parents aged and died, but it might have been similar to this. I’m paying back my sweet sister for the time she spent with them.  

*****

The time is coming for TL to die.  I have no idea what might cause her to die, but that day is coming.  Likewise, my day is coming.

I’ve been thinking about what I want to do after TL passes on. While not set in stone, I’ve gotten used to this faculty, staff, and residents. I’d like to add some pzazz into their lives.  Get up, eat breakfast, watch TV, nap, eat lunch, nap, watch TV, eat dinner, go to bed isn’t much of a life.  I’ve tried to be a “clown.”  I take balloons that I let fly around the cafeteria.  I try to make people happy - in the days of drudgery. 

I am also amazed that some residents rarely have guests.  Who visits these forgotten people?  Can I go into their rooms and play music (probably on my phone, not on my tuba).  Can I read with them?  Can I pray with them?  Can I listen to them?

*****

Getting older isn’t much fun!!!

BUT

LOVE WINS

LOVE TRANSFORMS

Karen Anne White, August 2, 2024