Sex and Intimacy = part II Seven Day Challenge

Sexual Intimacy Challenge

Last week, I wrote about love and Valentine’s Day, then three days into divorce and Gray Divorce, then found a great reference with 88 suggestions to stay in love.

Then yesterday, I wrote about sex and intimacy (not one of my strong points). One of the suggestions from the article was to have a seven-day intimacy challenge.  So, today, following that link, I’ll write about the idea of an intimacy challenge.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/7-day-intimacy-challenge_b/

Commit to being intimate with your partner every day for an entire week (yes, it’s possible!), and watch as the spark returns. 

It might seem daunting at first, but after just a week of intimacy, you and your partner will have a new (much sexier) normal. Now jump into bed and follow this ultimate guide to save your sex life in just 7 days.

Here are the seven days of the challenge (quoted directly)

“Day 1:   Recreate intimacy from early on in your relationship. Kick off the challenge by recreating intimacy from before you lost the spark. Research shows that nostalgia can literally revive dying relationships. Play a song that evokes your early years together, break out some long-hidden lingerie, or use sexy pet names from when you first fell in love.

Day 2:   Explore a fantasy you’ve never tried before. On Day 2, keep the momentum going by exploring a fantasy with your partner. Fantasies are a crucial part of physical intimacy, and feeling safe enough to act on them has been shown to greatly enhance overall sex life.

***** Fantasies?  Yes, I have them - but I never talked about them to my spouse.  The challenge suggests they are a “crucial part of physical intimacy” - and we never talked about them.  Our loss!!” *****

Day 3:   Keep it spontaneous. Spontaneity during a planned intimacy challenge sounds counterintuitive—but it’s not! On Day 3, surprise your partner with sex at an unexpected time. Get things started in the morning, or head into the bedroom before dinner to spice things up at night.

Day 4:   Switch it up. You’re more than half-way done! To keep things interesting, switch up your typical love-making routine by trading top/bottom positions with your partner. The simple act of changing your vantage point will add a dose of excitement to keep you both in the game.

Day 5:   Pick a place outside the bedroom. Whether it’s the living room, the guest bedroom—or the car if you’re feeling crazy—you’ll see each other in a whole new light. Research shows that expanding love-making outside the bedroom brings couples closer together, and increases feelings of sexual empowerment. Get to it!

***** We did try to make love outside the bedroom a few times.  I enjoyed it, but with the lack of communication, we didn’t talk about these things. *****

Day 6:   Plan a date night. The challenge is almost over—don’t give up yet! Instead, key up the romance by planning a dreamy date night that brings you back to your dating days. Studies show that date nights actually increase sexual satisfaction in both men and women, so expect great things.

***** We did try date night.  I think it was a success - as much as anything in our life.  It never (to my memory) led to intimacy, but we did communicate better!! ******

Day 7:   Do it—and talk about it. Communication is king. Closeout your 7-Day Intimacy Challenge by talking with your partner during or after sex. An open conversation about your physical intimacy will continue the momentum you’ve built over the past week. Other benefits of pillow talk include higher sexual self-esteem, more pleasure, and less apprehension.

*****

So, a two-day excursion into intimacy and sex.  I realize that I wasn’t a great lover - and I didn’t work on intimacy and sex in our marriage.  Yes, there are two people in a marriage, and my reasoning is that my spouse didn’t know much more about sex and intimacy than I did, but that doesn’t excuse me. 

So, while I suggest in our Gray Divorce blogs, that we had drifted away.  Yes, we had drifted away but I realize that I hadn’t worked hard enough on intimacy and sex.  Serious communication was not part of our daily routine!!!  

Tomorrow - moving ahead!!

Hugs!!

Karen