Staying in Love - Part II
Whew!!! I got through two days of writing about sex!!
I think the article has so much to suggest about Staying in Love with your partner, that I want to pass on. The article has sections on Connection, Pragmatic, Gratitude, Self-Care, Gifts, Quality Time, and Conflict.
Some sections are (at least to me) more significant for Staying in Love. Let’s look at Connections today!!!
CONNECTION
24. Smile at them, just because
25. Write a “why I like you” list and leave it out for them to see
*****
For quite a while, I wrote post-it notes and attached them to the bathroom mirror and other places - where she would get a surprise - like when she opened a book and there would be a note - or on her favorite coffee cup in the morning.
25. Write a “why I like you” list and leave it out for them to see
*****
For quite a while, I wrote post-it notes and attached them to the bathroom mirror and other places - where she would get a surprise - like when she opened a book and there would be a note - or on her favorite coffee cup in the morning.
I also write her several emails a week (even now that we are separated and she (seemingly) has filed for a divorce). And, every one of those notes says “I Love You” at the bottom.
*****
26. Reflect your understanding of how they feel, particularly when they have a hard day
27. Show empathy for their challenges (even if you wouldn’t react the same way)
*****
Empathy - really true empathy goes farther and deeper than just ‘concerns'. I married my wife “for better, for worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, until death parts us”. Do you REALLY care about your spouse? Listen to them - use active listening - turn off the TV to listen, out your phone away to listen, look at them to listen, let your body language show them that you are listening and that you DO REALLY CARE!!!
*****
28. Show interest in their hobbies (even if you don’t really care for them)
*****
My wife loved quilting and was extremely good at it. We went to a lot of quilt shows and even more quilt shops. When we lived in Connecticut, we drove to New Jersey and to Massachusetts to get fabric at wholesale prices.
When we were on longer trips (like central Texas to Nebraska), I relished stopped at quilt shops - mostly because I could get a cat-nap!!!
Eventually, I learned about quilts, quilting patterns, fabric, styles (from simple log-cabin designs to intricate double-wedding ring designs).
*****
*****
26. Reflect your understanding of how they feel, particularly when they have a hard day
27. Show empathy for their challenges (even if you wouldn’t react the same way)
*****
Empathy - really true empathy goes farther and deeper than just ‘concerns'. I married my wife “for better, for worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, until death parts us”. Do you REALLY care about your spouse? Listen to them - use active listening - turn off the TV to listen, out your phone away to listen, look at them to listen, let your body language show them that you are listening and that you DO REALLY CARE!!!
*****
28. Show interest in their hobbies (even if you don’t really care for them)
*****
My wife loved quilting and was extremely good at it. We went to a lot of quilt shows and even more quilt shops. When we lived in Connecticut, we drove to New Jersey and to Massachusetts to get fabric at wholesale prices.
When we were on longer trips (like central Texas to Nebraska), I relished stopped at quilt shops - mostly because I could get a cat-nap!!!
Eventually, I learned about quilts, quilting patterns, fabric, styles (from simple log-cabin designs to intricate double-wedding ring designs).
*****
29. Ask questions about their past
30. Show respect for their friends and family members (even if you wouldn’t have chosen them yourself)
*****
She had a big family - so when we married, I had ‘instant’ sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews, etc. I do really like them
*****
31. Have an ongoing bucket list for the two of you
32. Dream about life’s possibilities
33. Try new activities together
*****
For 44 years we were always together. We went to the grocery store together, out to lunch together, shopping and almost everything together. That is one thing I miss about our separation.
*****
34. Plan date nights at home
35. Choose to stay committed + loyal to one another
*****
There are probably very few individuals who haven’t questioned their choice in a spouse. The grass is not necessarily greener on the other side of the fence. But, we stayed the course!!!
*****
36. Set goals together and talk about them annually
37. Review your year together during anniversaries or birthdays
*****
One of the main emphasis of this article is COMMUNICATION!!!
To make a marriage (or relationship) work you need communication - and that is both good and bad. I can’t think of any (major) think that I hid from my spouse.
I even communicated about my gender issues at the first opportunity. Alas, that hurt her!!!
Hugs!!
Karen
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