Competition / Winning

Competition and Winning

I’ve been a competitor for most of my life.  Probably all of us have been.  From elementary school to dating, marriage, to work and even in retirement.

I’ve had students who were super competitive - the “C” students rarely stopped to ask questions, buy some of the “A” students stopped by my office prior to tests to try to pry information out of me about the test.  

I like to win.  But, in many situations, I like ALL of us to win.  I like WIN/WIN situations.  Having a healthy competition can be good.  

Lately, in the midst of the pandemic, I’ve been playing chess.  I’ve been reminded of bumper stickers that I have seen “I used to be cool”.  Yes, I used to be good - and maybe I need to special order a bumper sticker that says “I used to be good at chess”.  

I lost about the first eight matches.  But, actually, the first two matches hit me the hardest.  I lost, but not by just a move in the end game, but I was BEAT early.  I’ve used Micah 6:8 “What does God require of you, but to love justice, show mercy and walk humbly with God”.  I had my ego on the line - I WAS (past tense) a good chess player, but my opponent is a great chess player.  We are friends (we are both in the bridge group, and I do really like this individual) - but in chess knowledge and skill, he surpasses me.  After those first two matches, I wanted to crawl in a cave and suck my thumb.  Now, understand, my friend was a gracious winner - he never has had a superiority comment, never has put me down.  No, I have put myself down.  One of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quotes is “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.  

I felt inferior, worthless (at least in chess).  But I have (I hope) come to terms with it.  My friend is very good.  As I write this, I won about 25% of the games (that is after two losses earlier today).  I did have a win yesterday.  WOW - I beat a great chess player a few times!!!  (And, he has beaten me many, many times!!!).

Now, how does that fit into my blog today?  Competition?  

Competition can be good.  In this case, I realize that my friend is a stronger chess player than I am.  If I take that the wrong way, I get into the comparison rut (but that is tomorrow’s topic!!).

I need to learn from my friend.  I’m catching on to some of his favorite moves, and I know he sees my tendencies.  When you get beat - at chess - or at life - you need to learn from the experience.  There may be times in competition that you learn this activity is not something that is appropriate for you.

Let’s face it, there is always somebody better than you, and eventually, there is somebody better than the current best person.  Let’s illustrate.  Michael Phelps currently has an Olympic record with 28 gold medals.  But, someday, somebody is going to get 29 gold medals.  (Unless certain changes in rules ensue).  Sportscasters use the statement “Records are made to be broken”.  

Some winning at all cost quotes:

“A ruthless desire to win at all costs was my biggest flaw’ - Lance Armstrong (cyclist)

“Successful competitors want to win.  Head cases want to win at all costs”, Nancy Lopez (professional golfer)

““Winning is great, sure, but if you are really going to do something in life, the secret is learning how to lose. Nobody goes undefeated all the time. If you can pick up after a crushing defeat, and go on to win again, you are going to be a champion someday.” Wilma Rudolph (track star)

““The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.” Art Rooney (NFL owner) 

“Winning is the most important thing in life, after breathing.  Breathing first, then winning “(George Steinbrenner - Yankees owner) 

So, how about you?  Are you a “Win at all costs” person?  Are you a competitive person?  Can your ego take a loss?  

Hugs!!!

Karen