Sunday, May 3, 2020

Are you lonely? Do you know of lonely people?


The Price of Loneliness!!!

The article starts with the author describing a project while she was a graduate student in social work.  She was working in a hospital.  The emergency room had a “revolving door” - many of the same people showed up on a regular basis.  They identified those who lived alone, and she started calling the patients frequently.  Some just wanted to talk - and their hospital visits were reduced.  

The author wrote, 
I think there were two reasons those phone calls reduced their visits to the hospital: they felt less lonely, which helped them feel better physically, and feeling connected with someone meant they were less likely to go to the emergency room simply to have human contact.”

She goes on to write,
“Clearly, loneliness is a big problem that can lead to a variety of physical health issues, psychological problems, and societal issues.  Unfortunately, loneliness seems to be a growing epidemic. Studies show half of Americans are feeling lonely and isolated.”

There is a difference between being lonely and being alone.  Some alone “down-time” is good for us.  (Hey, even Jesus went away to be alone).  But being lonely can even happen in a crowd.  Elderly who live alone are also more susceptible to being lonely.  

Today’s blog has the title of “The Price of Loneliness” - so what might be the prices?

Again, from the article,
“Researchers have found that loneliness is just as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes per day. Lonely people are 50 percent more likely to die prematurely than those with healthy social relationships.”
*****
WOW!!!  Smoking 15 cigarettes a day? Fifty percent more likely to die early?  Those are good reasons to get over being lonely.  (But that is tomorrow’s topic).

When you are alone, you don’t have anybody to talk to about your health, your finances, or your relationships.  You become isolated (hey - we’ve been encouraged to be isolated).  

On the good side, the article suggests it isn’t QUANTITY, but QUALITY that matters. 

With our social isolation, a group that I volunteer with is stepping up to call seniors and check on them.  Normally, I take these seniors (who don’t have cars) to the doctors or other appointments.  From that, I have two special friends that I have clicked with (RG and MN).  

This new program has volunteers (like me) calling the seniors, checking up on them, running to the grocery store (if needed), or other places.  Both of my friends are alone.  Fortunately, both have roommates.  RG has two cats and MN has a cat and a dog.  Their pets are family for them.  

In the program, I’m not to visit them (as I might be carrying the COVID-19 germs to them) or give them rides to doctors or other places.  (And (oops), I have violated that as I took RG to the grocery store the other day and I visited MN and we talked earlier this week.

But, I have used electronic means to keep in touch.  MN loves to text and so we text.  She finds cute dog and cat images and attaches them (and I have to find some other images to send to her.  RG is a phone and an email person.  She has a family that is spread across the country, so she calls some of her sisters (she has one ‘difficult’ sister who is always negative and doesn’t call her that much.).  Her daughter in California has two girls - 3.5 and 1.5 and that daughter sends her videos of the girls playing!!  

My friend (AP) and I walk frequently, but she makes a point of calling her senior aunts, her sisters and brother and her niece frequently.  

And, you know what?  The result of me keeping in touch with them helps keep my spirits up!!!

I used a quote on Facebook today, “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.” (Yes, show them some love) “If you want to be happy, practice compassion”.  Yes, what goes around, comes around.

Have you been checking in with seniors and others that might be lonely in this challenging time?

Hugs - and get out there and show compassion!!!

Karen


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