Reconciliation - part I

 

Reconciliation - part I

(Warning - spiritual overtones)

I have run across a lot of people who are estranged from at least one person in their family.  My friend (RG) talks of a son who she has not seen or heard from in three years.  Another friend (AP) was separated from her sister for many years.  A third (MN) was separated from her son.

 

I am estranged from my family (not without reason).  I haven’t seen my twin granddaughters for two years.

 

First, looking at a New Testament Scripture from Matthew chapter 5.

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”

Be reconciled to them – ask for forgiveness – and willing give up your grudges and forgive them!!

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More

“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.”

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This is preceded by this,

 “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘You Jerk, is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.”

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Biblically, there are several cases of family separation. In Genesis, the first two children - were Cain and Abel - and Cain killed Abel.  (God accepted Abel’s gift and sacrifice, but not Cain’s gift and sacrifice)

 

Jacob (in the lineage of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob) stole his brother’s birthright and blessing and the two twin brothers were at odds with each other.  Jacob fell in love with Rachel, but his father-in-law gave him Leah as a bride first (after seven years of work), and eventually, he also married Rachel (after seven more years of work).  And Rachel hated her sister Leah since she had children with Jacob, while Rachel was barren.  

 David had a son that fought against him for the position of King of Israel (Absalom), and then brothers that fought for the position after his death.

 The question is still “Why can’t people get along?” 

 As a Christian, I view that I am to love one another, I am to show mercy to others.  If I am struck on the cheek, turn my head so the person can strike my other cheek.  If I am asked to do a task (like carrying a soldier's weapons for a mile), I should do it for a second task. (go the extra mile).  

 But there is also a Biblical concept of “Shunning”

 Matthew 18:15-17

““If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’  If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

 I am being shunned because becoming a woman is a sin.  

 Forgiveness can go a long way.  From Colossians 3:12-14 we have this,

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”

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So, at the heart of most disagreements and estrangements, there might need to be a big dose of forgiveness - and “bearing with each other”.  Am I different?  Yes.  Can I be forgiven?  Yes.  Can I forgive others (especially my family)? Yes.  Can we (as a family) and we (as a society) put on the virtues of love?  Can we learn to love one another?  

 One final scripture reference - the prodigal son.  The son takes his share of his father's wealth and squanders it, and eventually goes home in shame.  But the father loves his son and forgives him.   

 Yes, one side or the other - or both have been hurt - can we be “big people” and forgive one another (and especially our family)?  Reconciliation is possible - but sometimes we need to be vulnerable and humble and admit that we have been wrong.

 More on this coming up

 Hugs!!!

 Karen