Fighting Loneliness - part II

Fighting Loneliness - part II

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-more-ideas-to-help-with-loneliness/

Yesterday, I started a two-day swing through Fighting Loneliness.

The first five points were:

-1 Realize that loneliness is a feeling, not a fact. 

-2 Reach out

-3 Notice your deflating thoughts

-4 Make a plant to FIGHT the mental and emotional habits of loneliness!!!

-5 Focus on the needs of others.  

Let’s see the other items:

-6 Find others like you.

I joined the “Over 60 For Fun” group.  I enjoyed it, but it was primarily in Austin (and I am not fond of driving into Austin).  They played Canasta and laughed and had a good time.

I didn’t quite “join” the knitting and crochet group at the library, but I did go about five times.  They accepted me nicely!!

I am in an online transgender group (that can be fun, but also some of the folks can get down and depressed)

I am in the Georgetown PFLAG group (Parents Family (of) Lesbians and Gays.

Plus, I am in the Williamson County Symphony Orchestra, the Bridge Group, Granny Basketball group. And I try to make every one of their sessions!

Being active is a way to counter loneliness and depression.

-7 Always show up to your groups.

Membership in a group can be just having your name on the roster, but to really get value out of it, you need to participate.  Join in, show up, maybe even sign up to help for an event.  

Volunteers to help at a Soup Kitchen, usher, play on a team (and be a cheerleader) are always needed - step up!!

-8 Be curious - but don’t expect perfection!!!

The article says,

“Each time you show up is an experiment, a micro-adventure in social bonding. If you are curious about and interested in others, they will be attracted to you because you are giving them attention. So, you will get attention in return. Curiosity about others also takes your focus away from those painful feelings that tend to make you hide and sulk.”

Being involved means “BEING INVOLVED” - being reliable.  If your group is picking up trash along the highway, get out there and pick up trash.  

-9 Kindness goes a LONG WAY

The article adds,

“You have the power to offer loving kindness and generosity of spirit to all you come into contact with. It isn’t instinctual to be kind to strangers or people who scare you. But it is a choice. It is a choice that Jesus and Gandhi used intentionally. And in the long run, it is a winning choice. The alternative, being mean or stingy with those you don’t know well, can get you a reputation as a Scrooge.”

I love the expression: “If you can be anything, be NICE”.  A form of that expression is you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar!!!

-10 Be persistent.

Not every group is a good fit for you.  While I liked to “Over 60 For Fun” group, the hassle of getting to South Austin was a challenge (or maybe, the getting home from South Austin at rush hour was a challenge.

One group that I committed to was a challenge for the first month (they had weekly meetings), but I showed up, with a smile, ready to be nice.  Eventually, I became a greeter for that group, standing at the door welcoming the new folks in!!!

*****

Back to the basics - if you are a relatively healthy person, you can get out and get going.  Loneliness is partially a choice on your part.  You must climb out of your hole.  A turtle only makes progress by sticking his neck out!!!

And, if you are not a healthy person, you can call people and reach out to them.  Make a difference in your community!!!

Hugs!!

Karen