Retirement Life Coach - part I

Retirement Coaching

Hi friends!!

I have an interest in being a retirement coach.  I think those who are retired and those who are not retirement both have an interest in this material.  So, for the next several days, I am going to write as if I was a real retirement coach.

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A recent phenomenon is “life coaching”. To me, “life coaching” is like being a counselor without a master’s degree in counseling.  I have been a ‘coach’ pretty much all my life.  I have an e-book (available on Amazon:  “Bring it on: Coaching and Mentoring For College Students”.  I have a second e-book (also on Amazon) “Rebooting:  Creating the Change and Career you Seek”.  In my 38 years as a professor, I enjoyed mentoring and advising students.  I have gotten feedback from several students on how I helped them.  

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What is coaching?  Online I found this: “Coaching is more performance-driven, designed to improve the professional's on-the-job performance. Mentoring is more development-driven, looking not just at the professional's current job function but beyond, taking a more holistic approach to career development.”

Oprah Magazine gives this information: ““Life coaching focuses on what's happening right now, what a person wants next, and how that gap can be bridged,” explains certified coach Jane Scudder and founder of leadership development firm The New Exec.”

“Helping people to identify the obstacles that keep getting in their way, assisting them with finding motivation, and pinpointing any resistance to change. A life coach is a broad term. You can also find business coaches, executive coaches, leadership coaches, and health coaches, but a life coach is typically most helpful when you’re thinking about your overall future.”

Taking that one step further, “Retirement Coaching” is about helping people to identify what is ahead in retirement and to help prepare individuals and couples for retirement.

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So - for the next few blogs - I am “Dr. Karen White, Retirement Coach”.  

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The first time in my retirement coaching is to get to know my clients and build rapport with them.  I will want to know what makes them “tick” and how I can help them achieve the best retirement for them.

I have an intake form that starts me on discovering their goals.

Name: _____________________

Age: ___________

Address: ___________________

Email: _____________________

Phone: ____________________

Marital Status: ______________

Retirement Status: ___________ (currently retirement, retirement in the next year, in the next five years)

What you did before retirement (job, family, volunteering)

Assuming financing, health, and reasonable physical shape, what are your retirement goals (at least five major goals you have)

What passions do you have? 

How long do you see yourself living?

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First Session will be in three parts:  Part A - meet with the wife (if in traditional marriage); then Part B - meet with the husband, then Part C meet together with both wife and husband.

Why do I want to meet the couple separately?  One spouse might want to travel and the other doesn’t want to travel.  If they are talking about this together, the one with the ‘biggest’ voice may dominate the discussion and I want both parties to be equal. 

[Aside: While this is not marriage counseling, it will need some aspects of marital decision making.  Did one spouse dominate the plans and decisions?  Example - did one spouse always want to go to the ocean for vacation and the other to the mountains or traveling and the one who wanted the ocean almost always got his or her way.

Think of the old “Newlywed Game” show - where each spouse was asked questions about the other - which generally got a lot of laughter.

Maybe one spouse was an executive who was used to making decisions and now is not in an ‘executive role’.  Think of the “Retired Husband Syndrome”].

In the separate sessions, as a retirement coach, I want to know each one of the partners and understand their goals.

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After the two separate sessions, the couple comes together jointly to discuss the initial (separate thoughts).  There will be ground rules.  Each person gets time to present their thoughts without interruptions by the other spouse.  Then the other spouse will get time to share their thoughts.  As the retirement coach, I will be writing these on a whiteboard attempting to find overlaps and common interests. 

After the first round, the other spouse will have the opportunity to ask for clarification and more depth on the first person’s goals and expectations. 

[Aside - from my 20s - I had a vague idea of retirement.  Retirement was going to be like heaven.  I could lay around, just enjoy life, let the clouds drift by.  I was going to play golf every day (even though I didn’t really like golfing).

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The real underlying purpose of this first session is communications.  As couples go through life - in their own careers and their own goals they grow apart.  And, the communication skills that were built in the dating days, and early days of a marriage slowly erode.  If this marriage and retirement years together are going to be happy - the couple must communicate deeply and fully!

More on Retirement Life Coaching on Monday!!!

Hugs!!

Karen