COPING WITH DEPRESSION / SUICIDE - PART IV

 COPING WITH DEPRESSION / SUICIDE - PART IV

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/in-depth/depression/art-20045943

So, this is day-four of a depression/suicide week.

So, how do you help a person with depression and suicide issues?

LOVE!!

Let’s look at the Mayo Clinic article: (linked above)

“People with depression may not recognize or acknowledge that they're depressed. They may not be aware of the signs and symptoms of depression, so they may think their feelings are normal.”

“All too often, people feel ashamed about their depression, and mistakenly believe they should be able to overcome it with willpower alone. But depression seldom gets better without treatment and may get worse. With the right treatment approach, the person you care about can get better.

I want to highlight two thoughts - (thought 1) people believe they can overcome it with willpower alone.  And, (thought 2) “depression seldom gets better without treatment.”

Your son who is dealing with depression after losing his job to COVID - thinks as a college-educated graduate - that he can handle it.  He lost his job - but, hey, it is just a setback.  But, week-after-painful-week of being home without a job can really knock him for a loop.  

If he still has some health insurance, he can go to a mental health professional who can give him skills for coping (see later in this post).  I know of many churches that have support groups.

Get him help!!!

*****

Here's what you can do to help: (according to the Mayo article)

-1 Talk to the person about what you've noticed and why you're concerned.

The person with depression (and suicidal thoughts) frequently doesn’t want anybody to know that he is feeling bad.  Therefore, you need to be proactive.  If this is a child or a spouse, you need to show real love and real concern.  

-2 Explain that depression is a medical condition, not a personal flaw or weakness — and that it usually gets better with treatment.

Yes, treatment - even with medications - can help.  Counselors have “seen it all” (or … religious authorities also have training in counseling).  

And, let’s face it.  The person can pay to have a counselor (if your insurance doesn’t work) and get well, or the person can stay angry, depressed, and still harbor suicidal thoughts.  The longer those thoughts exist - the longer the person will be out-of-work.  A car-parts company had an advertisement some time back about “You can pay for it now, or you can pay for it later” - in referring to making repairs.  Repairs now (or counseling now) can get the person back “on track’ sooner!!!  (Or, “an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”).

-3 Suggest seeking help from a professional — a medical doctor or a mental health provider, such as a licensed counselor or psychologist.

(again) these people have seen it all before.  They will listen.  Getting it off your shoulders will help!!!

-4 Offer to help prepare a list of questions to discuss in an initial appointment with a doctor or mental health provider.

-5 Express your willingness to help by setting up appointments, going along to them, and attending family therapy sessions.

Analogy time.  If your child/spouse/friend is having a heart attack saying “You’ll get over it” is not going to help as compared to getting real expert help!!! 

*****

Again, from the Mayo Clinic article:

-1 Talk to the person about your concern. Ask if he or she has been thinking about attempting suicide or has a plan for how to do it. Having an actual plan indicates a higher likelihood of attempting suicide.

-2 Seek help. Contact the person's doctor, mental health provider, or other health care professional. Let other family members or close friends know what's going on.

-3 Call a suicide hotline number. In the United States, you can reach the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) to talk to a trained counselor. Use that same number and press "1" to reach the Veterans Crisis Line.

-4 Make sure the person is in a safe environment. If possible, eliminate things that could be used to attempt suicide. For example, remove or lock up firearms, other weapons, and medications.

-5 Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately if the person is in danger of self-harm or suicide. Make sure someone stays with that person at all times.

And, more:

-1 Encourage sticking with treatment. If your relative or friend is in treatment for depression, help him or her remember to take prescribed medications and to keep appointments.

-2 Be willing to listen. Let your loved one know that you want to understand how he or she feels. When the person wants to talk, listen carefully, but avoid giving advice or opinions or making judgments. Just listening and being understanding can be a powerful healing tool.

-3 Give positive reinforcement. People with depression may judge themselves harshly and find fault with everything they do. Remind your loved one about his or her positive qualities and how much the person means to you and others.

-4 Offer assistance. Your relative or friend may not be able to take care of certain tasks well. Give suggestions about specific tasks you'd be willing to do or ask if there is a particular task that you could take on.

-5 Help create a low-stress environment. Creating a regular routine may help a person with depression feel more in control. Offer to make a schedule for meals, medication, physical activity, and sleep, and help organize household chores.

-6 Locate helpful organizations. A number of organizations offer support groups, counseling, and other resources for depression. For example, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, employee assistance programs, and many faith-based organizations offer help for mental health concerns.

-7Encourage participation in spiritual practice, if appropriate. For many people, faith is an important element in recovery from depression — whether it's involvement in an organized religious community or personal spiritual beliefs and practices.

-8 Make plans together. Ask your loved one to join you on a walk, see a movie with you, or work with you on a hobby or other activity he or she previously enjoyed. But don't try to force the person into doing something.

Your child, your spouse, your friend HAS VALUE!!! Tell them you LOVE THEM.  Help them see that they have things to do and that - death is permanent.  There are no trips to the Grand Canyon or to Disneyworld when you are dead!!  There are no fishing trips with your son if they are dead; no outings with your daughter when she is dead!!!

And, (a bit repetitive) - LOVE THEM!!!  LOVE WINS!!

It is a tough time - and support (and love) can help bridge the gap!!!

LOVE WINS~!!!

HUGS!!

Karen