BRIDGE BRAT BULLETIN - THURSDAY JULY 22, 2021

REMINDER:  JOIN US AND THE STONE HAVEN SENIOR CENTER FOLKS FOR LUNCH TODAY - RIGHT AFTER BRIDGE!!!

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July is moving along.  BUT, COVID is back in the news.  I think all of us (except maybe one) have been vaccinated.  I don’t like wearing a mask, but I do want to be safe and I do want all of us to be safe!!!  

The Olympics start tomorrow.  I generally have watched the Olympics - but I don’t have a television (and don’t want one).  I like the concept that athletes from around the world compete on a level playing field.  But many of the smaller countries don’t stand a chance against Americans (and Germans, and Russians and Chinese and others) that have top flight training and support facilities!!!  (I guess I like cheering for the underdogs!!!)

And speaking of the underdogs - the Texas Rangers are in last place in the American League West - 21.5 games behind the first place Houston Astros.

BRIDGE QUESTIONS

If you have:

Spades - A, K, Q, J, 10, 9, 8

Hearts - A, K

Diamonds - A K

Clubs - A K 

(okay, the odds of this are 1 in 1,000,000,000,000)

What would be your bid?

How about:

Spades - A, K, Q, J, 10, 9, 2

Hearts - A, K

Diamonds - A K

Clubs - A K 

What would be your bid?

How about 

Spades - A, K, Q, J, 10, 9

Hearts - A, K

Diamonds - A K

Clubs - A, K, 10

What would be your bid?  

Would you stop at 6 because of the potential club loser?  Would you wait until the last three leads to lead the clubs with the hope that nobody saved Q, J, 3 of clubs and bid 7 no-trump?

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How about this balanced hand

Spaces - A Q 3

Hearts - A Q 3

Diamonds - A Q 2

Clubs - 5,4,3, 2

You have 18 high card count - but a strange distribution - what would be your bid?  Would your bid be different if you opened the bidding or if you were replying to your teammate?  (If replying, that should mean that your partner had an opening count (say 13 points), plus your 18, you are at 31 points and should find game.  It might well be - considering your distribution that your partner would be clubs - you have four cards (that your opponents don’t have plus a lot of support in the other suits.

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HUMOR

I was watching and laughing at Bob Newhart’s Driving Instructor story;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaUYQZR-y7I

Coffee Time:

Dennis Love eats breakfast at the Greasy Spoon Restaurant most mornings.  The waitress, Vicky watched as Dennis put pancake syrup in his coffee and sugar on his pancakes.  An onlooker asked “Why does he do that?”  Vicky answered - “Because Love is blind” (groan)

PUNS

The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar. It was tense!

How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed!

You really shouldn't be intimidated by advanced math…it's easy as pi!

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!

What did the hamburger name it's baby? Patty!

Why was the baby ant confused? Because all his uncles were ants!

One lung said to another…we be-lung together!

Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter!

Sure, I drink brake fluid. But I can stop anytime!

My girlfriend thought I'd never be able to make a car out of spaghetti… You should've seen her face when I drove pasta!

Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!

Speaking of coffee, mine tasted like dirt this morning, but my wife assured me, it was fresh ground yesterday.  

How does Moses make his coffee?  Hebrews it.

If the local coffee shop has awarded you “Employee of the Month” and you don’t even work there, you may be drinking too much coffee.

I drink so much coffee at work, I consider it part of my daily grind.

What’s the difference between coffee and your opinion?  I asked for coffee.

A tall blonde walks into Starbucks. The barista says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!”
The blonde says, “You have a drink named Tiffani?”

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TRIVIA

How many US states does Texas border on?  Name them?

How many Mexican states does Texas border on?  Can you name them?  (Can you name at least one of them?)

How many countries have flown their flags over Texas (all or part)?  Name them?

Which state produces more wool?  Texas or California?

How many natural lakes are there in Texas?  (Not dammed)

Which is closer to El Paso - Dallas or Phoenix?

When did Texas become a state?

LOGIC PROBLEMS

#1 Three friends are stranded on a desert island.  (Dennis, Vickie, and Orville).  They have three important things (survival guide, finishing rod, and machete), and each wants one of these (hut, tent, hammock)

Clues:

Orville thinks the fishing rod is the key to survival

Somebody said it is good to read a survival guide in a tent

The one who wants a machete doesn’t want to live in a hut

Dennis doesn’t think a hammock is a proper place to live

Who liked which item and slept in which facility.

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#2  Nancy, Emily and Avis enjoy a different means of catching up on the news while having breakfast. Each has breakfast at a different time and as part of it, one has cereal, one has coffee, and Avis has toast. From this information and the following clues, can you determine each person's means of catching up on the news, their part of breakfast and the time at which they have it?

They all did a different activity (radio, television, or newspaper), and they ate at 6:30, 6:50, and 7:15.  Who ate what - at what time - doing what activity?

Clues:

The person who read the paper had breakfast later than the person who listened to the news on the radio

Emily had her breakfast right before the person who had toast

Cereal was eaten 20 minutes after the person who watched the news on TV

Nancy's black coffee was not the last breakfast

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WRAP-UP

Do you know we are on the great downward slide - until December 20?  

Our next birthday is August 12th - for our favorite player from Jarrell!!  (And that is a bridge day!!!) 

Cartoon - this got forwarded to me - musical related:

TRIVIA ANSWERS:

Four - Oklahoma, New Mexico, Arkansas and Louisiana

Four - Chihuahua, Coahuila, Nuevo León, and Tamaulipas 

Six - Spain, France, Mexico, Republic of Texas, United States, and Confederate States

Texas produces the most wool

Only one natural lake in Texas (Caddo Lake)

REl Paso is closer to Phoenix

Texas became a state in 1845