MONDAY, JULY 26, 2021 RECONCILIATION (AGAIN)

 MONDAY, JULY 26, 2021 RECONCILIATION (AGAIN)

In the past two weeks, I’ve been looking at reconciliation.  It seems like many people / many families have some “black sheep” that they are estranged from.  And, if you aren’t directly involved you may be on the edge - maybe your children don’t talk to each other, maybe it is somebody in your extended family - maybe it is from a divorce - and members of the family have taken sides.  

There might be financial issues - a friend / relative owes me money and isn’t paying, or you owe somebody money.  It might be even inheritance issues - Tom got the farm and you got next to nothing.

So, the first issue is up to you.  DO YOU REALLY WANT TO RECONCILE?

That might be qualified - if we can reconcile and not be financially or emotionally hurt by the reconciliation.  If Tom got the farm, he might not want to reconcile if he has to sell the farm or give part of the proceeds to the rest of the family.  

What about the emotional issues?  What if the person you want to reconcile with is really different?  

. Maybe they changed their religion - from (say) Catholic Christian to Evangelical Christian?  Or from (say) Catholic Christian to Jewish, or Catholic Christian to Muslim; or Catholic Christian to Jehovah’s Witnesses?  

. Maybe they changed their lifestyle - maybe the person you want to reconcile with is now divorced? Or maybe the person was a straight female and now is a lesbian, or the person was a straight male and now is a homosexual/gay male; or the person was (say) a man and now is a transgender woman

. What if the person you want to reconcile with has become politically opposite of you?

If the barriers are too much, then you will not be free to reconcile.  You don’t have to like what they have done, but you do have to love them.  Last Saturday’s story had a conservative grandmother and a liberal granddaughter who hadn’t spoken for five years because of lifestyle and actions (of the granddaughter).  But, the granddaughter exercised an act of love - by sitting with her grandma after surgery.  

If your person has made some choices in his/her life that separates them from you, if you really want to reconcile, you need to overlook the choices they have made.  LOVE wins.

Turning the other cheek might have meant that somebody hurt you - but it can also mean you have been hurt by a family member or a friend - and taking it (aka ‘turning your cheek’) without complaining or striking back.

If you want reconciliation, there may have been a lot of hurt.  Thinking of the Prodigal Son story, the son hurt his father by taking his inheritance and leaving, for gambling away the money in wild living, If the father knew (and he could only guess), what all the son had done each time could have been like a paper cut - just another hurt, just another slap in dad’s face.

How about with money?  You gave money (maybe even big money) to somebody and they lost it - squandered it - can’t ever repay you.  Can you forgive and reconcile?

What if the person (son, daughter, father, grandfather, mother, grandmother is living a life outside your boundaries?  Your daughter is now working as a prostitute - can you reconcile that?  If your father has now become an aged nudist hippie?  You might not like what they have done - but you have to LOVE and forgive them if you want to reconcile.  

Another article I was reading was about the Sandy Hook (Connecticut) school shooting.  A mother lost her son to the gunman.  But, she came around and forgave him.  I think that forgiving somebody who killed your son would take a lot of guts.  

Yes, this lady did some research about the gunman who had been rejected and kicked to the curb pretty much all his life.  His life had been marked by abuse.  That might mitigate the hatred that a mother might have - but to step across that line and say “I forgive him” is a tough choice - but she did.  

I have also known that some estrangements go back so far, that the people aren’t really sure anymore WHY they are fighting.  Fighting just seems so natural.  But, if you let it, love can also become natural!!

The rivalry between two sisters might have spilled over to their children - where the children of sister-A and the children of sister-B kept a record of wrongs - without understanding WHY they are estranged from the other side of the family.  

I like the concept that “All things are possible with God” (Luke 1:37).  Think of the Source, the Infinite, the Creator - did he stop and say “You know it is impossible to create a universe, so I won’t do it”.  No, he did the “impossible” - because with God all things are possible.  

If you are estranged - and if you really want to make up - take the first step.  Forgive the other person, love the other person.  

The reality (as I see if), is that you can forgive (even forgive the almost impossible), or you can let a “cancer” grow in your heart and mind - a ‘cancer’ of hate and unforgiveness.

LOVE DOES WIN!!!

HUGS!!

Karen