TUESDAY, JULY 27, 2021 SELF-LOVE

 TUESDAY, JULY 27, 2021 SELF-LOVE

I’m going to do (at least) three days on SELF-LOVE.

My basis is Mark 12:30-31 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”

So … “LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF” - does that imply that I should love myself?  

But, how can I love myself?  I know what I have done (Psalm 51:3 - “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.” I know how bad, ugly, sinful, nasty, smelly, and worthless I have been.  I can’t love myself!!!  (And my reasoning, I can’t love my neighbor either.)

Self-love - is all too frequently self-loathing!!  I’m too fat, I’m too ugly, I never can get my hair right, My back hurts, I limp - but the internal stuff (bad, ugly, sinful, … from the last paragraph).

Let’s start with an affirmation - I need to love myself.  (Did you get that?  I need to think I’m pretty special, that I have value in the world, that I can contribute (or still contribute)).  I was talking the other day to a shut-in friend that was worried about self-love.  She does contribute, she is important, but she was feeling down and that she didn’t have anything to offer - and that is totally untrue!!!

From: https://www.healthline.com/health/13-self-love-habits-every-woman-needs-to-have#1.-Stop-comparing-yourself-to-others

. Stop comparing yourself to others.  I’m not as pretty as my sister, I’m fatter than my friend, I’m not that smart. Comparing yourself to others is almost always a negative experience.  There is always somebody better, faster, cuter, smarter, harder-working, etc.  

. In a similar vein, don’t worry about others' opinions. You can’t please all people - so you must please yourself. I’m reminded of the story of the man, the son, and the donkey - where some people said the man should ride the donkey, others said the son should ride, and finally others suggested don’t put anybody on the donkey - they tried to please others!! 

.Allow yourself to make mistakes.  I am laughing at myself when I miss when shooting baskets.  You learn from your mistakes - and that is why I’m so smart (because I make a lot of mistakes!!!) 

.Don’t worry about your body’s appearance.  We’ve heard of girls with anorexia - where they think they are fat and almost starve to death.  Yes, we exercise for health, not necessarily for appearance.  (But, on the other hand, do take care of your body, obesity can lead to many problems)

.Don’t allow toxic people to berate you.  You will find people who find fault in everything.  People that always complain - about you, about the government, about the economy, - just ignore them, and (if you can), avoid them!!!

.Understand your fears.  Why are you scared of something?  Process your fears, why are you letting fears stand in your way of loving yourself?  

. Trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself.  We so often doubt ourselves and our ability to do what’s right, when most of the time we do know in our hearts what’s best. Remember that your feelings are valid. You’re not losing touch with reality. You know yourself better than anyone else, so be your best advocate. (Pray for wisdom for good decisions)

.Take every opportunity life presents or create your own. The timing is never going to be perfect for that next big step in your life. The set up may not be ideal, but that shouldn’t hold you back from reaching to meet your goals and dreams. Instead, seize the moment because it may never come back. I’m slowly starting my relationship/reconciliation coaching, I don’t have many clients and as this point says “the set up may not be ideal”!!!  I really like the concept of helping people reach their goals and dreams (as my particular goals and dreams!!!)

.Put yourself first (if you really want to love yourself).  

Years ago, I attended the Nobel Symposium at Gustavus Adolphus University.  A take-away was that “self is the first reality”.  The article adds this “Don’t feel bad about doing this. Women, especially, can grow accustomed to putting others first. Although there’s a time and a place for this, it shouldn't be a habit that costs you your mental or emotional well-being.”

. Feel joy and pain fully

We need to experience the fullness of emotions, but also realize that we are much more than our emotions.  We are unique and special individuals.  Learn to love deeply - and fully!!!

.Exercise boldness in public

Speak up, express yourself.  If you want to love others as you love yourself, you must be able to understand your place in society.  Not a mouse - but an individual with thoughts and ideas.  Be willing and able to share!!!

.See beauty around you - in the simple things

Let the sound of the birds chirping, the wind through the trees, the colors around you.  Appreciate the beauty of life.

.BE KIND TO YOURSELF

Yes, I capitalized this one.  If you are going to love your neighbor as yourself, you need to be kind to yourself.  Speak positive words to yourself, laugh at and with yourself.  I have Post-It notes around my apartment - with quotes, verses, encouragement.  Again, we are unique, special and so lovable. So - use the power of positive affirmations to build yourself up (even when others want to knock you down!!!

*****

There we are - don’t “trash talk” to others or to yourself.  If you can be anything - be nice!!!  Let no corrupt communication come out of your mouth. (Ephesians 4:29).  

LOVE YOURSELF - so you can fulfill the concept of loving your neighbor as yourself!!!

More tomorrow and Thursday!!

LOVE WINS!!!

Karen