THURSDAY, JULY 22, 2021 - FORGIVENESS, RECONCILIATION AND REVENGE!!

 THURSDAY, JULY 22, 2021 - FORGIVENESS, RECONCILIATION AND REVENGE!!

I’ve been working through forgiveness, and reconciliation.  There are some alternatives - holding a grudge - and taking REVENGE!!!

Scenario 1:

“You hurt me, so I’m going to hurt you!!!  An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.  And, you don’t know what I’m planning.  I’m going to really hurt you!!!”

Scenario 2:

I got fired from my job.  I hate my boss and those people.  They will have to pay for what they did to me.  So, I’m going to get a gun and shoot up the place (before killing myself).

I’M GOING TO GET REVENGE!!  

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International 1:

You called one of our citizens a spy and jailed them, so we arrested two of your people as spies and jailed them!!  (Revenge!!  An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth!!)

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“Revenge is defined as the act of committing a harmful action against a person or group in response to a grievance, be it real or perceived”

From the Sermon on the Mound - Matthew 5:38 

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth. But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.  If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 

Radical forgiveness says “I have been hurt (and it is worse if it is intentional), it is very hard to turn the other cheek.”

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Okay, I’m not sure I want to write this:

In October 2019, my wife was filing divorce proceedings against me.  I was not protesting the divorce.  The divorce settlement of course involved financial considerations.  I gave her our 2400 square foot house (free and clear - no debt) and I had been moved into a 582 square foot apartment.  Of the remaining amount, she wanted 70%!!!  Friends said “Don’t let her take you to the cleaners!!”  (I’m not sure why they said that, my clothes were clean!!)   I did something stupid (I’m good at doing stupid things!!! <grin>).  I said “If I’m not here tomorrow, I’ll leave you a note on my desk”.  I think that was a (veiled) threat that I was going to commit suicide!!  About an hour later, two policemen were pounding heavily at my door and took me to a mental health facility where I stayed for four days.  I’m not sure I was going to kill myself, but in my mental state I could have done something stupid.  

(My thinking about the divorce)  "Hey, you’ve been pushing me, so let me kill myself - that will be revenge on you!!!"

After that experience, we reached a better breakdown - about 50/50 (not considering the house).  My revenge of “She is going to be sorry she pushed me to the limit.  I’d like to be around at the funeral where she’ll be sad that she was so mean to me”.  

I can control only one person (me).  I tried to manipulate her - and I messed up.  

Since then, I have done a lot of learning.  I have peace.  Money is just money, stuff is just stuff.  

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In a recent scripture lesson, Jesus sends out his apostles two--by-two - but says don’t take a suitcase, don’t take money, don’t take anything but a walking stick.  Or as Job says “Naked came I into the world, and naked will I depart”.  Why build up a huge estate? 

Revenge is a dead end, revenge doesn’t give any peace.  It might give you momentary joy as you see the other person suffer, but you get real peace (in this world and the next) by forgiving from the heart!!!

And it seems like revenge begets more revenge!!  Don’t mess with me because I’m going to pay you back “in spades”).  

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“I will hurt you for this. I don't know how yet, but give me time. A day will come when you think yourself safe and happy, and suddenly your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth, and you'll know the debt is paid.” ― George R.R. Martin, A Clash of Kings

“When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves: one for your enemy, and one for yourself.”  ― Jodi Picoult, Nineteen Minutes

"Revenge is a dish which is best served cold.", Star Trek

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“My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!” ― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

“An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

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Yes, I've been writing about forgiving.  We don't have to forget, but we need to forgive - always forgive, love is patient, love is kind.  FORGIVE.  

(Otherwise, your hatred will be eating away at your very being!!)

LOVE WINS!!!  FORGIVENESS WINS!!!

Karen